Game in the Brain

It cost me about 27,000php (500 USD)  to make a book that is currently made only <8,000php (160usd after DTRPG commission). 25,000php (370usd) for Mneme Variant Combat Rules that made less 7000php (140usd). and about 30,000php (600usd) on the Deferred Ship Generation Rules. 

I forecast spending about 10,000php (180usd) for the Milestone Goals. I hope the Mneme World Generation Book will get to Electrium at 250 and make 46,000php (800usd). Minus the XPPen tablet, we will invest in (240usd) That would be a total expense of 940usd – leaving me negative 140usd or 7000php. 

Basically, it’s like I spent 400 hours and net 140usd/7000php to Chase a dream.  I’m paying 7000php to delude myself that I matter to hopefully 250 people. If it didn’t matter as much It just means I spent that much to think I matter. 

I will probably spend 200-300usd to Polish Mneme Combat Rules. And even if it gets to Silver I would be 300usd + 370usd = 670usd expenses but with incomes of about 325 USD (100 sold). 

MNEME Variant Combat Rules = Income 325 USD – Expenses (370usd + 200usd)

MNEME World Generator = Income 812.5 – Expenses (500 + 200usd + 240usd) 

3.25usd per 5usd book sold. 
3.25usd = 186php because of the current Economic Conditions with a 57php to 1usd. 

With my ERPNext Projects, NextCloud (on hold till I get OJTS), Blender and FreeCAD, GODOT, and Javascript – with the Family biz and feeling that “Are you sure? Why arent other Filipinos catching on this? Why is it so HARD to prove even when I’m using these tools.

Everyday I feel like my projects are all impossible and the blatant corruption in the news makes me wonder how crazy I must be hitting my head against this wall or making a rock bleed. Its hard to think I’m critical and Pragmatic when I am surrounded by so much corruption and people giving up on fixing what’s wrong. Its like working towards being the decent person we are told to grow up into is so wrong. 

“pera pera lang” “Its all just money.” – believing that means giving up. I cannot stand the belief that money holds ALL the Power.