Game in the Brain

Slowing down is a Decomposition technique. It breaks down an overwhelming emotion and impulse so that it does not drive me to act rashly as well as allow me to better regulate my mode. 

It only works if I catch myself feeling bad, or in negative emotion. This means it works best when I’ve set periods of reflection and self-monitoring. 

Let’s assume I catch myself feeling bad, which is many times during the day. Probably 8-15. Probably more through the course of a week or month. 

Now I just review the emotion, replay it. Thats painful – triggering me to breathe deeply. sucking in that air – be it smelly from my mask, dry from aircon, and all forms of distracting depending on where I am. Still I look for that oxygen and hold on to that feeling because I noticed I actually hold my breath when I feel bad. I actually get a little weak when I feel bad – ruminating and my mind, face, and body slow down and stop. Then I catch a breath like I forgot to breathe. 

I play back the bad thought, this time cautiously and slowly. Like holding on to the rails when every step is painful. Play back the emotion and examine it – Why, how bad can it be? What does it say about me feeling this way? Is this the Ideal? What would a more EQ capable person do? What would a kinder hearted person say? What would a fair person say? Every Question a Socratic Catechism of self-examination. 

Somehow my mind gets a bit overwhelmed by my questions. I dont have the answers but the pain subsides a bit. I dont have any answers, nor do I have any insights. I’m still me but someone kinder, caring, and more insightful than me came in and comforted me.