Game in the Brain

I was on study leave but I did the quick analysis of the likeliness I’ll be able to see old friends again and It just doesnt compare. Also the wife has to remind me to be human sometimes.

These are the guys where the Games sounded like a Black Lagoon Episode a mix of incredible attention to detail of hardware, tactics and outrageous feats. From reading all the books they can get their hands on prior to the Youtube or Internet age making it all the more accessible. These were the older brothers I grew up with while I was gaming in College.

So being 40 and looking back at knowing many of them for about 20 years (meeting Bobby around early 2000 thanks to Henry and Jack). it’s interesting to catch up and see how much I appreciate their advice and their perspective.

Bobby was who opened the possibility of doing Historical and Contemporary games. It was a BIG leap for me to play more modern games and other games outside D&D. Bobby was the one who told me about a book called “Anarchy of Families” as well as Filipinos at War by Carlos Quirino. Books that helped me get out of a very small world into a much larger and intimidating one – the real world and the fascinating messiness and inelegant anti-climax of History.

The habits of Research, Reading, Critical Thinking, and Analysis that helped me make sense of Work and Allowed me to Convert the Framework of Systems Thinking into something I use for my work in IT, Quality, Manufacturing, and Management. (https://tryingtogamework.blogspot.com/ is my blog where I continue applying my Gamer mindset in work and life).

These guys are also my Airsoft team, so not only did we Game, we took the Game to the Airsoft and tried to practice what we read about. I notice something about GURPS players of my generation – that they are so much into DIY and Experimentation – they are at home at HEMA or any Freethinking mindset where we challenged our knowledge or notions. Of course, the tradeoff is that we tend to spend too much time in these things as compared to more social or balanced endeavors. Our networking is not very good as a trade-off.

Being older, having our own kids, it is only natural that we want our kids to Game. I am worried if my Son doesn’t take into TRPG he cannot overcome the negative Traits he inherited from me: the excitable or hypomanic tendencies that can crash our moods and make us feel very strong negative emotions. Gaming was a great coping mechanism for that trait and I’m definitely not resourceful enough to give my child a coping mechanism I don’t have.

Bobby tells me not to worry. Of course, I still worry. I guess us gamers with our coping mechanism, we just want our kids to get it earlier to enjoy more things and develop the capabilities more – in ways we were not able to imagine when we learned them on our own.

Being able to Catch up reminds of the cost we pay when I prioritize work over friends. It really is damaging to the psyche and creates greater fatigue, and longer periods of rest. My slight hypomania shows when I sacrifice to sleep earlier and more but It doesnt give me any energy. The psychic cost of the sacrifice is now measurable. Still, even if I can now measure the effects, the solution should involve my family. Recovery time should also be quality time. Thats another puzzle to solve.

I can deny my Gamerness for so long but that ability to derive pleasure and recover and reinforce my sense of self atrophies along with it, and thus the ability to RECOVER and continue to endure the difficult reality of the world weakens when I lose that part of me. 

I’m not looking forward at the painful cost benefit analysis of Getting Fantasy Trip all the way from the USA as an experiment of getting my TRPG back on.