Game in the Brain

I had to open write as part of a PRO (Cons and Pro) the Status Bias of the company. I was discussing Solution Engineering/Architects and basically What PRESALES does.  They get to “Wave around” for the Client or for the Project excuse that my parents has created.

I feel relieved writing down a terrible unwritten truth that has been bothering me. Written it has taken a more tangible form and I’m more aware of it. Its like the exercise of DEFINING a problem or issue, from an ambiguous feeling or TOO much Input to something that has taken a FORM that can sorted, challenged, dissected, sadly accepted.

This is how i begin to accept the terrible realities of growing up and older. Identifying them and BEING in so much TECHNICAL and real DEBT by way of Inheriting it – and perpetuating the terrible things my parents and society does.  A little at a time – I have to accept things i naively believed I could change, but realized I have no time, effort, or emotion left to fight for what is right.

Project Management is the profession I could possibly do If shit goes down in the company.
A project coordinator starts out at 16k/320usd/mo to up to 20k/400usd/mo.
A pm can grow from 20k to 60k/1200usd/mo
A certified PM with a portfolio can exceed that plus Commission.
A PM with an engineering degree, including ECE, now counts as an Sustaining Technical Employee in the Company’s PCAB Licenses as it relates to TELCO, Data center, and NEtwork Infrastructure projects.
Of course a PM needs about 12 Con or 11HT, other than the 11IQ or 13 INT. An engineering or technical background – and Ideally the Certified Project Management Training.
I told my No. 2 if he gets frustrated and wants to advance – I wont get in the way of him going for PM since He can do it. And that PMs have a high asking since the ensure the Company Makes money and has some status in a company by waving around “Project and Client” to the lower tier persons in the company like Support Group.
I HATE THAT STATUS BIAS. Its used to get away with a lot of SHIT in my company and my Parents are often tricked with this Magic Badge that gives them to Do ANYTHING and abuse anyone.

The lesson here is REMOVING all obligations my children have to me. Never burden them with me and my ideas. Pay for the school and upbringing but never make them feel like they OWE me anything.

Never trap them in MY DEBTS.

Given the challenges – I’ve accepted that I probably cant save the company or anyone. That maybe all i can do is not compound the suffering. That the most I can do is TRY to reduce the suffering- the good ole PDCA try.