Game in the Brain

Andrew Wiley, as my Wife and I know him as Superdad. Basically he is the working dad (working parents) who is seen with his kid while he does his work. To me and the wife he’s the symbol of equal career advancement and compromise in a married relationship.

Its freaking hard to be Superdad, you suffer and empathize with many the career barrier women have to deal with – particularly going for lower pay and having a smaller presence in the pursuit for career, all to raise another human being.

Its normal for people not to want children, and thats ok. Only certain phenotypes like children and raising them more than others, I see that in how my mothers family is with kids vs my fathers family. Its not a bad thing, and if people were more informed and had a choice it would be better.

Example is my dad, he’s really not a kids person. The horror stories my mother would tell of him never being there when she was pregnant and giving birth, its like she didnt have a husband. Even growing up, my dad was never a children person. Thats fine, its the past, but personally I would rather have grown up with a father that was more child friendly and my father free from such duties. If my mom had a husband who was crazy about raising kids as she was, I think she would have been better off.

As she reminds me, among her kids I’m the one who has liked kids growing up. Its a predisposition i got from her, and its very “maternal” personality aspect. I come from a matriarchal family, my mother calls the shots (and the only parent I can reason with by bring facts to the table).

It puts a ton of things into perspective and why I have certain beliefs about common good of having centralized and public day care, reproductive education and rights, as well as equal career advancement along with no fault divorce (it would have been terrifying to go through it, but it would have been a good option for my mother, note the Philippines is one of two counties that do not allow divorce although her strong catholic beliefs makes it completely irreconcilable – priests bashing divorcees )

It seems I’ll be taking on more of Superdad roles, since we will be in a nanyy transition when my mom gets back (she helps me with the sourcing and how to handle it). Luckily my wife’s houshold has a good tradition of professionalism in housekeeping and eye for detail and worksmanship. Hopefully draw from that and draw from my System Analyst training to create a methodology of training a house keeper nanny to make my job easier.

We do plan to have another one, but it would be terribly easier to have one with a trained nanny. And my System Analyst experience, better to have two for succession and shifting.